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A fun, home-grown quiz which asks: Which San Francisco Giants player are you?

Heh. It's been a while since I've written here. But I wanted to share the URL for my new essay about reviewing children's picture books for Helium.

My boss had me read the new book about marketing, YouTility.

Here's a fun "fortune cookie"-style page I made that shares quotes from the book...

Greetings from Windows 8!

This afternoon I hit a high score in the pinball game, and listened to Styx in the XBox Music app. But tonight I actually got productive. I finally figured out how to search for file containing a specific string -- just use the Notepad++ desktop app! And I read up on the upcoming release of Windows 8.1. I even fixed in a bug in my new JavaScript program. (And reviewed some .css code, now that I actually understand it.)

So I'm feeling good!

I've finally started publishing my blog about children's picture book reviews.

Our dog died a few months ago.

I promised myself I'd put a link up here to this web page I made about him for Christmas. He was a little angel. And every time you re-load the page, there's a new picture of him...

The one thing the pictures don't really capture is his "happy eyes". When he came back from the dog park, his eyes were always bright, and he'd be panting with excitement as he trotted happily back into our home. You'd see that same look a lot -- when it was time for a walk, whenever he knew it was time for dinner, and even if he was just happy to see you when you finally came back home.

It's hard for me to write more, because I'm still having a hard time accepting the fact that that big pile of happy just isn't here with us any more...

September 14th. The crowd's ready for fireworks after a Friday night baseball game at the Oakland Coliseum.

The Oakland A's just beat the Baltimore Orioles, 3-2, in front of a sold-out stadium,
giving them a five-game lead in the race for 2012's wild card slot in the postseason playoffs.

Yow. Busy afternoon...

But I finally registered a new domain. (That just required going through a few GoDaddy screens.) Then I had to add the hosting separately through another ISP -- and then go back to tell GoDaddy my new nameserver addresses.

But that was the easy part. The hard part was figuring out whether I'd lose all my Google Pagerank when I moved to the new domain. I found lots of people saying yes -- but after a half hour of research, I finally figured out that they were all wrong...

They were right once, so the real question is why Wordpress doesn't just delete outdated discussion forums when the information is no longer correct. (Making things worse, they close the discussion to any new posts -- so the correct information can't ever be added to the discussion!)
Anyways, I took a walk earlier this afteroon, and it felt good -- and it also felt good to come home to a wide-open afternoon. So I promised myself I'd stop working and take a break...

It's been a productive night.

Did you know one of Google's top matches for Dana Plato porn is this article from 1999?

And now it links to this other Dana Plato article from 1999...

Okay, I finally did it. I...
Bought a Kindle...

Started a blog about my Kindle

I finally did it.

My friend Dave took me to a bar to watch the Oakland A's. And when the game was over...

I sang karaoke.

And if you're wondering what I sang...

"Once Bitten, Twice Shy."

I've been reading The Canterbury Tales online.

Apparently a writer named Ronald Ecker got a degree in English in the early 60s, and at some point in his life created a translation which "has been a widely adopted text in college and university literature courses" (says his web page).

And according to The Knight's Tale, I'm a minister-general.

That minister general, Destiny,
Who executes all that must come to be
     (The providence foreseen by God on high),
     Is so strong that although the world deny
A thing shall be, by vow, by "yea" or "nay,"
It still will come to pass upon its day,

Though not again till pass a thousand years;
Each appetite that in this world appears,
Be it for war or peace or hate or love,
Is governed by this providence above.

So three years ago I blogged about how naked breasts became a crucial plot point in an episode of LAX.

Today I discovered it's placed my blog on the first page of results if you search Google Images for the phrase:

how do you get a girl to show her breasts at you

UPDATE: Now I'm also on the second page of results for the phrase:

bare wife

Today I learned that my blog is also one of Google's 20 matches for the phrase:
Ms. Marvel's boobs
Presumably, because of this post about Ms. Marvel's butt.

UPDATE: I'm also getting referrals from Google Images' second page of results for the phrase:

boobs drawings

And an FCC complaint about breasts on NBC brought a referral for the phrase:

42 d breasts

I was surprised when someone found my blog by searching for the words:
knocked up Knotts Berry Farm special features clip

Google's excerpt?
Here's Google's satellite photos of Disneyland, Knott's Berry Farm, and Universal Studios. ..... Er, so then how does she get knocked up in the last reel? ...

I was talking about Sandra Dee in "A Summer Place." But earlier on my blog, I'd mentioned Google Maps' photos of amusement parks -- and the strange search brought the two excerpts together.

In Judd Apatow's movie Knocked Up, there's a scene at Knott's Berry Farm that was included on the DVD as a "special features" clip. Presumably, that's what the search was really looking for.

Yes, I'm Googenheiming again...

Because of this post, I'm now one of Google's top matches for the phrase:
"doo doo doo doo doo"

"The wish to acquire is in truth very natural and common,
and men always do so when they can,
and for this they will be praised not blamed;

But when they cannot do so,
yet wish to do so by any means,

then there is folly and blame."
— Machiavelli, 1513

It's the Scorpions' "Rock You Like a Hurricane," performed with the Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra. My local radio station decided to play the special 2000 version of the original song (first recorded 24 years ago).

Rolling Stone was never impressed, also citing "this annoying trend of otherwise credible rockers pretending Eighties metal was cool."

Dave Grohl thinks it's cool to don a Dio tee and Sugar Ray giggle through a cover of "Breaking the Law" and it's all a laugh riot, but what these clowning hipsters don't seem to realize is that they've unearthed acts we rightfully buried a decade ago.

And what about metal acts that re-record their songs with orchestras?

"I hope I'm dead by the time Limp Bizkit try this."

In the 1965 movie The Cincinnati Kid, Steve McQueen plays a hand of poker against E. G. Marshall. What were the odds on their final hand?

300 billion to one, says Wikipedia.

"O Hai! Yur bank haz sold me yur morgage, but I losts the paperwerk. Plz send moniez. Kthxbye."

That's basically what happened to Joe Lentis, who apparently hasn't made a mortage payment since 2002. (Take that, subprime lenders!)

That quote is from an interesting discussion in the comments. Is there a moral obligation to a corporation?

I'm the Blue Beetle. I'm sixteen, live with my parents, and have homicidal alien technology welded to my spine.

After months of investigaton, I found that same alien race is behind a century-long conspiracy to destroy earth and enslave humanity.

Yaaaaaay me.

See, this is why I love comic books...

Quentin Tarantino wants to film a re-make of Russ Meyer's classic exploitation film, Faster Pussycat, Kill Kill...

Starring Britney Spears.

And Lindsay Lohan wants to re-make Ann-Margret's "Kitten with a Whip"!

Great moments in internet history.

On November 25, 1996, one Usenet poet successfully discovers five rhymes for the word "orange."

Anorexics love an orange
Binge and binge and then some more binge.

Dramatists defile the orange,
like that hack and worthless whore Inge.

When he's pelted with an orange
My friend Mike sounds like a door hinge.

In a bustier that's orange
Cher could make a monk's cold core singe

"Straight," they say, and eat an orange?
Fabio could make Al Gore twinge!

A delightfully true passage from Jessica Cutler's novel, The Washingtonienne.
"I'm quitting my blog," April announced over dessert. "I think it's making me do crazy things just so I can write about them, like cheating on Tom."

I knew exactly what she meant.

"Every time I do something, I think to myself, Is this blog-worthy? It's a sickness."

Today's fun fact?

I am now Google's #4 match for the phrase Old, bad movies.

Jesus. I can't believe you read all the way down to here. Just for that, I'm pointing you to a secret movie review page (that wasn't actually linked from here before). Enjoy!

It's here.
The Happiest Blog on Earth